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Writer's pictureMary Balistreri

Free Stuff

The last ten days, I worked many hours puzzling over and fixing things that stemmed from the idea I would receive a free thing. One of the little things that gives me no joy in my daily life is when those promises are broken and the items turn out to not actually be free. And, so went the first few days of the new year for me - filled with harrumphs of frustration.


However, the experiences reminded me of one of the little things bringing me great joy whenever offered to me or encountered by me. Free stuff! I love free stuff! Something as simple as sample day at a grocery store charges me up with exuberance and, sometimes, makes me sing and dance!


Back in the day - okay, two or three years ago - my job included coming up with strategies for marketing and business development. Part of the strategies included, if there was a big trade show or event on the calendar, determining a giveaway that reflected the messaging of the strategy. So, if the brain was the center of the messaging - because we are so smart - do we give away a rubber stress-reliever brain or a plastic brain? Most of the time, the objects chosen were much more clever and classy than my example, but you get the idea.


Some of my favorite free stuff:

  1. Pens - Right this moment, sitting in my office, I have 25 pens in my possession counting everything in my briefcase and purse. Oops, 24 pens - I accidentally counted my eyeliner. None of them match. Every single pen carries its own character and color scheme. In some cases, I swept them up off tables of sponsors at trade shows and networking events. Some were given to me by new business contacts. Pens are so simple. During any event, inevitably, someone will ask, "Does anyone have a pen?" And, if you are a business person at the event, it is a great clue to get your name in front of someone easily. "Of course, use mine. You can keep it. I also install windows or sell billboard ads or work at a bank..." Pens are an easy way to market and will be kept or used by the person receiving the free gift. As a writer who loves "special" pens, all these complimentary creative vessels of ink fill me with happiness and creativity. My pens are copper, gray, silver, black, green, pink, red, blue, orange and two-toned. And, they each work differently. In some cases, you click the top button. Some must be twisted to bring out the writing tip. Some possess a highlighter or eraser or stylus on one end. I even received a pen from a human resource company that looks like a person with little knobs of hair on top of their tiny heads. That one came in every possible skin tone to best represent every kind of person. That pen was one of my favorites - surpassed only by the god-shaped silver pen from my husband - until I lost it. It must have rolled out of my purse. Maybe that was the click sound we heard in the dark at the movies during the holidays. Something frequently falls out of my purse leaving me to delight in its rediscovery much of the time. I hope it turns up in the car or something. Getting back to pens, each pen evokes a different feeling in me. Who am I today while writing or working? Do I need the seamless glide of the luxurious rollerball pen? or the straightforward strength of a fountain pen? (Actually, I do not use fountain pens. I tried in the past, but it is not within my skillset. I do not have the patience for them.) Am I in the mood for a bold red or a pretty pink pen? And, so on. I am in pen heaven most days, except when I am overwhelmed with decision making. Then I default to a boring black Bic pen with the rubber grip.

2. Graphics. In my travels for business, I compiled a plethora of free things. This caricature of me is one of my most favorites. At a conference in Louisville, KY last year, Dell Technologies employed an artist to make these images and upload them immediately to their technology. I attended many events in the past where company's had the same idea, but in those cases, the drawings seemed somewhat generic. This is the first one of me that really says ""Mary Balistreri, in my opinion. I framed it and keep it in my office. One year, at a gigantic international biotechnology conference, a sponsor gave away packages each containing a triptych of Chinese embroidery art. Each was a diamond shaped piece representing a wish for your household - fortune, health, and longevity. Each was meticulously wrapped for safe shipping. The men at the table giving them away excitedly told me about the pieces and their significance as gifts. I never did hear what innovation in biotechnology their company created, but those pictures hung in my house for many years.



Then there is this awesome picture of me on the cover of Forbes magazine. I attended a virtual conference, "2020 Power Women's Summit" and, because the conference was virtual, this was the swag. How cool! Each attendee could upload a photo, and the sponsor deftly plopped it into a magazine cover. They added your name and answer to the question, "How are you driving progress?" My answer was, "By striving to be better each day." When I posted this to social media, most colleagues believed the magazine cover was all about me. I received congratulations (free accolades!) from people everywhere. Eventually, I added a disclaimer in the comments so people who read the comments found out it was simply an ingenious freebie.


3. Free toys. When my son was young, I happily picked up a plethora of gifts to bring home from conferences and trade shows. Many vendors wisely gave out stuffed animals and toys knowing the moms and dads who doubled as business professionals would seek out those tables first. Most of us felt guilty for being away from our families. I stuffed my suitcase with cool "stuff" for Owen and my husband, Steve, to enjoy. Owen received teddy bears, stuffed dogs, horses, flamingoes, yoyos, dice, decks of cards, coloring books, and plenty of candy. As soon my car pulled into the driveway, I heard him yelling, "Mom, mom, what did you bring me?" Steve stood happily nearby, usually bouncing a bit or even doing a little dance of joy. I came into a house filled with warmth, love, hugs, and kisses. First, I pulled all of the prizes out of my briefcase / flight bag. Usually, there was chocolate for both of them to share, pens (as noted above), notepads, sticky notes, and other office-related freebies.


As Owen grew older, the climate at the conferences also matured. My suitcase was stuffed with a variety of smartphone chargers, screen cleaners, phone stands of all sorts, phone screen covers, and even UBS-wired ,coffee cup warmers that plugged into computer ports. Actually, that last one is something I found and branded for my company (and used to keep my coffee warm in my office while I worked). The branded merchandise for men also became more desirable. If Steve were the business sort, he would have benefitted from any number of ties - the classic butter-yellow and navy blue, trendy black skinny ties, ties in every color of a logo. As a massage therapist, Steve's interest level here was low. However, he loved every wild pair of socks I brought him. I have been told by a number of professional men, socks offer them opportunities to express themselves within the confines of their black, navy, or brown suits. Steve benefitted from that philosophy in the form of inventive, fun, pensive, smart, colorful socks.


4. Food & Beverage Samples. Perhaps the most common of all the free stuff is the food and beverage sample. I adore the idea of tasting something you may never buy but may think of buying. I love to receive samples of pricey items in particular. Tea or coffee samples with beautiful packaging priced out of my sphere? Yes, please, add them to my cart or purse or whatever I might be carrying at the moment. Chips made completely of organic vegetables ground by hand by the owner of the company herself and formed back into a solid shape with grapeseed oil, and then baked lovingly like a meringue for many days? Yes, I would love to try it and take your flyer to look at your web site, too.


The Farmer's Market offers many opportunities to sample food and beverages. This year, our apple seller gave samples of apple cider every weekend. A refreshing way to remember how delicious apples can be, indeed! I admit, after a number of Saturdays blessed with free juice, I bought a few apples from him, even though they were more expensive than they would be at most of the grocery stores I frequent. And, the cheese seller kindly offered samples every time. And the almond guy - he made the most incredible spreads of every sort and ilk. I usually avoided him, because I knew I would not purchase from him. The spreads shook the very earth beneath me, but they do not present a food choice I should make daily. Glorious tomatoes! Tomatoes occupy my top ten list of favorite foods - foods I do not want to live without. And, samples of cherry tomatoes - of every color, mind you - blessed my farmer's market experience each weekend in 2023. The "tomato guy" (my name for him), grew the best tomatoes I ever tasted, until I started growing my own, that is. Yet, I enjoyed those free tomato samples with thankfulness, gratefulness, joy, and awe at the ability of the earth to give us such beauty, elegance, and nourishment in one tiny beautiful red, orb of bliss.


My head spins and dances with the emotions of remembering all this free stuff. The world is my oyster - although oysters have never been free to me. What a wonderful existence this is. If you feel down today or less than stellar; think about, seek out, find, and enjoy all the free stuff out there. Then call and tell me about it. I love to experience it myself and to learn new avenues to joy.

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